ItsMxKris @ItsMxKris@kindred.haus

So, real talk time.

I've been running kindred for about 2 and 1/2 years now. It's been great, it was an awesome project but my finances have tightened up significantly in recent months.

Kindred costs me roughly $35 a month to keep running. My current members are active, but not terribly so. The same can be said for me.

I've been considering shutting down the instance for a variety of reasons, but now that finances are involved that decision is clear.

I posted this sometime ago, but it's more important now than it was then. My cat needs roughly $2,500 worth of dental work and I've been saving towards making that happen.

Due to current circumstances, I'm finding myself needing to both relocate and my living expenses are going up considerably. Trying to continue saving for this procedure is going to take a very long time and is only going to get more expensive.

Please help if you can.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fund-kikis-dental-work

For all the love and support that I've gotten over the years, I'm incredibly grateful. It is very likely that I will be moving my account to another instance so I can stay in touch with all the folks that I've come to know and love.

That being said, if anyone has any instance recommendations that maintains a good block list and is welcome to trans and nuerodivergent folks, please let me know.

So, real talk time.

I've been running kindred for about 2 and 1/2 years now. It's been great, it was an awesome project but my finances have tightened up significantly in recent months.

Kindred costs me roughly $35 a month to keep running. My current members are active, but not terribly so. The same can be said for me.

I've been considering shutting down the instance for a variety of reasons, but now that finances are involved that decision is clear.

While it would be a cold day in Hell before I call anyone Daddy I was just introduced to the sacrilegious concept of "Father" and now I'm having a whole series of issues that I wasn't expecting today.

My abusive mother, who I went no contact with over 3 years ago, just called me. I didn't answer but I am no less shaken.

There's a certain irony in this considering I recently did spell work calling back power that other people have been stealing from me. It's an expected result for those who are doing so to come crawling out of the woodwork.

Even still, I was not prepared for this.

For what it's worth, I'm well aware that my ex's have at least one of their flying monkeys monitoring my Twitter/socials.

Hi, friend!

Feel free to keep feeding them things that they shouldn't be seeing because I blocked them.

And go fuck yourself while you're at it.

tired: feeling like I'm broken or damaged beyond repair

wired: recognizing that despite all odds, I'm still here

inspired: realizing that I've had the strength to endure everything up to this point and acknowledging that at the end of it all, nothing can get in my way

It was about time for me to finally share my story.

https://twitter.com/ItsMxKris/status/1447971422131867649

And despite the fact that Mommy gives them so much money, they still ended up $1,500 in debt to me in unpaid rent, but they still had more than enough money to maintain their daily weed habit.

I have come to find out that this is fraud on two counts. The first being that you're not supposed to spend your food stamps on other people and the second being that they effectively were exchanging food stamps for cash.

I don't like the prospect of being a snitch, but one of them also gets significant financial support from their mother that they don't report to the government. They're literally taking away money from people who need it.

I need a pulse check on this.

Both of my abusers on more than one occasion would use their food stamps to pay for groceries for me when they went shopping for the house. They would then turn around and request cash from me through Venmo for my split of the bill. They would then use that cash to pay me back for other bills that I had already paid.

Good bye.

It ends, tonight.

And now I'm in a position where I'm probably going to have to make some sacrifices and bring in another roommate to help cut costs, which means I'm going to have to sacrifice my office/studio space in order to free up a room for another person.

This could honestly work out really well because we have so much unused space in the living room right now. But I look like a complete dork when I'm doing VR stuff and I don't want the fear of people seeing me hold me back.

These bastards ripped me out of a home that I spent 5 years building and did not need to leave. Yes, the new space is larger and the location is great, but my living expenses have gone up by 40% since March.

I was rushed into U-Haul'ing out of my home so my abuser could shack up with their princess. I was conned into thinking that things would be better here So that they could be together and then I spent the next 6 months being emotionally neglected or directly abused.

And the other side of things that keeps fucking with me is the fact that when I spend a good amount of time in my room or my office, when I leave either room to go to the rest of the apartment I keep seeing flashes or overlays of the apartment the way that it used to be, with my ex's stuff.

Then the flashbacks hit and my mind hyperfocuses on every little detail of how the apartment used to be arranged. And how much it hurt to be here.

I've lived in this apartment for over 6 months now and for whatever reason I still feel like I'm just 'staying' here.

My room and my office are very much decorated and set up in such a way that is very comfortable to me, but the rest of the house is still empty and flat since my abuser's left.

The carpet is very boring and the place feels almost sterile, like an office.

It's like I'm living in a dorm. I hate it.

Windows 11 is a hot sack of shit.

Don't upgrade.

Just, don't.

...i just want someone to pat my head, tell me i'm not alone and that everything is going to be okay

is it really so much much to ask for

I've been having this... weird(?) feeling in the back of my head lately that keeps saying: "I want to be adopted."

I don't know where it came from, or what it means, but it follows the pattern of my feeling... uh... displaced.